Saturday, March 18, 2017

Dark Night of the Soul

Photo by Patty

As the anniversary of the death of the two most important men in my life looms ever so near, I think many times of the deepest, darkest nights I have experienced in the last five years when I lost both my husband and father just two days apart from each other. 

Many dark nights have come and gone, many times I have laid in bed, and prayed for the morning to come.  Dark nights followed by some dark days, but light does have a way of penetrating the dark.  Just as Jesus is the light of the world, His love also has penetrated the darkness in my soul. 

Photo by Patty

John 8:12-13 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

But what if you can’t feel His presence, or see the light through all of the darkness? Just what is that dark night of the soul?  I believe it is a point in life when you are at your most vulnerable, when light seems so far off that at that moment, you can’t even see it.  It is the point in time when God seems like He is not there, or if He is, you wonder, how much more will He give you before you actually break in a million pieces. 

Every year, during the month of March, it creeps up on me.  I begin the month saying it’s not so bad this year, it will be just fine, and then there it is, the darkness once again. 

This year, I was beginning to feel the sadness roll in my soul like fog, when today I had this overwhelming urge to pray for a cousin and her family.  I had constant reminders of the day I lost my husband, but it wasn’t the loss of my Dave I was feeling, it was something completely different.  Later, I found out my cousin lost her husband, suddenly, much like I lost Dave.  My feelings of loss came crashing in like a huge ocean wave, almost knocking me off of my feet.  Those feelings that I felt for myself, were then directed to her.  I knew exactly how she must be feeling, what her day would be like, the decisions she was having to make, and the reality that, she would be a widow, way before she should saddened me.  I thought of her first night without her husband, how hard that was for me, and now would now be her hard dark night.

We all have dark nights, dark days, and yes, even dark weeks/months.  But there is a light.  A light that, according to Revelation, is so bright there is no need for the sun.  

Revelation 21:23 The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.

Jesus Christ Himself is the light.  If we let Him, He will be our comfort, our strength, our rock, and someone who will carry us through the most difficult times. 
Photo by Patty

 2 Corinthians 4:7-9 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Jesus is also our hope.  He never promised that we would walk the road of the human life free from trouble, in fact he promised that we would have trouble, but we are to find courage in the fact that He Himself has overcome the world.  I find hope today that no matter what I will face, no matter how I feel, I can find hope and courage in Jesus.

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.   
John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
So take courage today, no matter what you are going through.  What Jesus has for us on the other side is worth more than any trial, or dark night that we may face.  He has also promised that we do not walk this path alone, seek Him and He will be found. Trust Him, for He is trustworthy and true.

Photo by Patty


  1. How beautiful that God used the loss of your husband to bring comfort to your cousin. Not many truly understand such a devastating feeling. Praying for you both. Thank you for sharing your story. I know you will touch many.
    Blessings, sweet sister.

  2. Thanks for sharing your story, Patty. God's grace has certainly been evident in your life an your cousin is blessed to have you in her life.

  3. Patty, Praying and sending hugs your way, for your cousin too. I can't even begin to imagine the pain. Thank you for sharing the hope in Christ.

    1. Thank you Cherrilynn, God has proven Himself faithful time, and time again. He is so good. My ministry now is share His hope.

  4. I can't imagine the pain. I'm so glad you do have that hope and light. May you always see that light brightly despite the darkness.

    Heather Bock